BECOMING A QUIET PERSON

I wear several hats. I am a father, a husband, a pastor, a friend, a brother and a son. On some days, I change hats easily.

Today I don’t feel like I have done a very good job of balancing the roles of pastor and father. As my two older boys move through high school, I struggle to give them what they need from a father. I am away from them more than I should be. On the other hand, there is more to do at the church than can possibly be done. I’m grateful for two other pastors and several lay leaders who share ministry responsibilities with me. Still, there are tasks that are not being covered.

When I feel pressured by competing responsibilities, I have a choice. I can stress out, or I can pray. Today, I chose to pray. Praying through the activities and agendas of the past week, I began to see the ways in which God is active and present. I felt my spirit lift as God met me, shaped me and challenged me to new growth. After my quiet time, I didn’t feel any more competent, but I knew that my responsibilities weren’t mine alone. A quiet peace filled the place where there had been anxiety.

Spending time with God makes a difference in our lives, right down to the depths of our character. You could say that spending time in quiet time makes one into a quiet person.

Don’t misunderstand what I mean by a quiet person. I’m not talking about a passive, shrinking-violet sort of person who sits in a corner and seldom speaks. Nor do I mean someone who never gets excited, upset or angry. On the contrary, a quiet person is active and productive. A quiet person feels anger, indignation, frustration, fear, desire and more. But a quiet person experiences these emotions in the context of time alone with God, which produces a Spirit-directed maturity.

The Biblical Picture of a Quiet Person

Abraham, Moses, David and Jesus were quiet people. But only Jesus was quiet from the start. The others became quiet as they grew in the knowledge of God.

Abraham became a quiet person. As he walked with God, he moved from the cowardice of twice denying that Sarah was his wife to the courage of offering Isaac as a sacrifice. His walk to the mount of sacrifice was characterized by a quiet, determined obedience. When Isaac inquired about the sacrifice, Abraham replied, “God himself will supply it.”

Moses moved from a rage that murdered an Egyptian slave driver to the disciplined heart of a real leader. His anger led him to smash the tablets of the Law and later lash out at the rock when the people failed to trust God. But he grew. We can detect a quiet tone in Psalm 90, which he wrote toward the end of his life: “Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” (Ps 90:12).

David too was a quiet person. As he fought giants, led armies, united his country and established a dynasty, he found time to write psalms of reflective worship. In David we see a quiet heart. On the one hand he can write, “The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want” (Ps 23:1). He can also write, “My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak” (Ps 31:10).

Jesus epitomized a quiet person. Confronting hostile adversaries, demanding the submission of shouting demons, sleeping in the midst of a storm while the disciples panicked, imploring God in Gethsemane or shouting out on the cross, he lived from a “gentle and humble … heart” (Mt 11:29). Isaiah writes of the coming Messiah, “He will not shout or cry out, or raise his voice in the streets. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out” (Is 42:2–3). It is from this place of quiet that Jesus invites us to find rest for our souls (Mt 11:29).

When we live from the quiet, we don’t need masks, façades or appearances. The quiet people of Scripture had a settledness, an authenticity, an integration of the inward and the outward. They were not hypocrites, showing one face to the world while hiding another face with a different disposition.

Being a quiet person is a disposition of character. There is no need to be in control or controlling. Nor is there a need to be manipulative, competitive or demanding. A quiet person can be firm, express disappointment, ask for what he or she wants and advocate what is important. This freedom comes from the experience of quiet time with God. As we spend time with him, our souls and the cells of our bodies come to know that Jesus is Lord and that he is working in our circumstances, whatever they be, for his glory and our good.

As we learn to be quiet people, we find that though we are more integrated between the inner and outer aspects of our person, we still live on two levels. On one level we can be coping with day-to-day experiences—driving a car, talking to a friend, working at a desk. On another level we can have an underlying sense of the presence of God. Somewhere deep inside we know that God is with us—indeed within us. We sense that he is supporting us even while we know that we are submitted to his authority and are living in obedient response to him.

Learning to be quiet doesn’t mean that our lives will be easy. Every quiet person in Scripture lived in the midst of turbulence and struggle, and you will too. You may have to face the unexpected sickness and death of someone you love. Career obstacles may stand in the way of cherished hopes and dreams. Your hopes for a happy home and a “perfect” marriage may collide with the reality of past pains and patterns of behavior that produce more frustration than affection. What will make the difference will be the way you choose to face these battles. The issue is spending enough time with God so that the quiet works its way inside.

As we spend time quietly with God, a change comes inside us. We find a willing submission to God and satisfaction in his presence. Along with rest and refreshment we receive a sense of our Shepherd’s guidance, direction, protection and provision.

Once we have experienced that inner quiet, even in the midst of “the valley of the shadow of death” we can have a settled courage. This experience of quiet is more than cognitive. It is a way of being. The quiet moves from outside us to inside us, invading us as we are immersed in it. I believe this is what Paul had in mind when he wrote, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil 4:6–7).

Keeping at It

If you are spending some time in quiet each day, but the Lord seems absent, you may need to extend your time with God to forty-five minutes or more, and occasionally even longer.

I sponsor three-hour retreats of silence at our church on occasional Sunday afternoons. Only a few brave souls showed up at the first one. But almost all who attended felt that even three hours wasn’t long enough! Many since have reported discovering a different quality to their time with God, a more tangible sense of his “being there.”

If we are to become spiritually healthy people, we may have to change our spiritual chemistry, just as it is sometimes necessary to change our physical chemistry. In a period of about four years I gained forty pounds. When I finally improved my diet, the results weren’t so great: I didn’t lose any weight! Then I began walking two miles a day. A few pounds came off, and I stabilized at thirty-five pounds above my desired weight.

I began walking four miles a day. Still nothing, except that I could eat normally without putting on weight. Then I began to run three miles a day. After two months of this, still nothing! Middle age was taking its toll. My weight began to drop only when I adopted a routine of running over three miles. I had to increase my metabolic rate for over forty-five minutes a day as well as cut down on my fat intake before my system would begin to alter the way it processed food. As my system changed, my cardiovascular system improved. The outward effects began to show in reduced inches around my waist.

I believe that there is a direct parallel between my weight loss experience and our quiet times. Getting in shape spiritually will probably require just as much exertion. We must keep at it. If we spend time with God, eventually the spiritual conditioning of our hearts will show itself in ways that we and others will be able to see.

Relax and Be Quiet

As you seek to become a quiet person, be gentle and gracious with yourself. Don’t push too hard or be too demanding. I remember teaching my sons how to swim. Before the lessons could begin, they had to get used to the water. Once they relaxed, they began to enjoy the water. Only then did I begin the lessons.
You too need to relax. Your heavenly Father is with you in the water of life. Instead of clinging to him in a state of panic, let go and trust him to lead you in your spiritual lessons. As he spoke through the psalmist thousands of years ago, he still speaks: “Be still, and know that I am God” (Ps 46:10).

Guided Quiet Time
Learning to Be a Quiet Person (Psalm 23)

Drawing on the book Moby Dick by Herman Melville, Eugene Peterson calls our attention to the power and effectiveness of a quiet person.

“There is a turbulent scene in which a whaleboat scuds across a frothing ocean in pursuit of a great, white whale, Moby Dick. The sailors are laboring fiercely, every muscle taut, all attention and energy concentrated on the task …. In this boat, however, there is one man who does nothing. He doesn’t hold an oar; he doesn’t perspire; he doesn’t shout. He is languid in the crash and cursing. This man is the harpooner, quiet, poised and waiting. And then this sentence: ‘To insure the greatest efficiency in the dart, the harpooners of this world must start to their feet out of idleness, and not out of toil.’ ”

Being quiet does not mean we aren’t doing anything. Nor does being quiet mean that we aren’t being effective and productive. The harpooner had to be rested and quiet so that he would be ready to act at the right time. Through Isaiah God says, “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength” (Is 30:15).

Psalm 23 uses pastoral images to convey the effects of being quiet. If we spend time in the “green pastures” and in “the house of the Lord,” we will find that we can rise to the challenge of life—be it be a white whale in the sea or a nameless, faceless enemy in some dark valley of the shadow of death.

Approach

Write out Psalm 23, copying it word for word. As you write it out, personalize it so you know that it applies to you.

Study

1. David declares that God is his shepherd. In what specific ways is David experiencing this?
2. In what ways does David respond to God’s caring presence?
3. What is the meaning of the phrase “I shall not be in want”?
4. David portrays God’s presence in three contrasting situations, “green pastures” (v. 2), the “valley of the shadow of death” (v. 4) and a battlefield (v. 5). How does God meet David’s need in each situation?
5. David writes that he “will dwell in the house of the Lord forever” (v. 6). Considering that the temple had not yet been built, what do you think he means?

Reflect

1. I summarize each verse in my own words as follows:
   Verse 1: Submission and Satisfaction
   Verse 2: Rest and Refreshment
   Verse 3: Guidance and Direction
   Verse 4: Confidence and Comfort
   Verse 5: Protection and Provision
   Verse 6: Presence and Peace
   Try using your own words. Or, if you like mine, personalize the phrases. For instance, for verse one you might write, “I choose to submit to the Lord as my shepherd and be satisfied in the ways that he leads me.”
2. Imagine that you are in a place of green grass, blue sky and quiet water. Sit there until you find the quiet working its way inside you. Write down how it affects you and how it affects your sense of God’s presence.
3. God is a shepherd who guides us. When we are quiet, we can discern his leading and respond to it. Think back through the past week. How has the Lord been guiding you?
4. David says that God makes him lie down in green pastures. How has God put you in a situation where you had to slow down?
   How did you respond?

Pray

Pray that your church will find ways to create green pastures, places where people can spend time being quiet with the Lord.
Ask God to make you a quiet person who lives in response to his shepherding.

Spiritual Encounter Guides from InterVarsity Press
by Stephen D. Eyre & Jacalyn Eyre

If you’ve enjoyed the quiet times in this book and would like to try some more, look for Spiritual Encounter Guides. Each of these provide a month of devotional exercises and Bible study questions to help you find intimacy with God. The workbook format provides space to record your thoughts and ideas.

Abiding in Christ’s Love. Discover how to live in the personal presence of Jesus Christ through John 13–17. In this record of Jesus’ most intimate conversations with his closest followers during his last days on earth we discover how his Spirit will care for and work through us, as he worked through the disciples.

Anticipating Christ’s Return. These quiet times in Revelation show us who Christ wants us to be and what he wants his church to be like as we await his return. Find hope for today as you get ready for the future.

Daring to Follow Jesus. Following Jesus means opposition. But there is also a crown for those who persevere in this challenge. These studies will point you to the promise that sustains us—one day we will reign in heaven with Jesus.

Enjoying Christ’s Blessings. Discover the multitude of spiritual blessings Christ offers us through these quiet times in Ephesians. We are chosen and redeemed. We have a Lord who hears our prayers. The church provides caring and nurture. And families and friends stand with us against evil.

Entering God’s Presence. An introduction to the basic components of the Christian life—spending time with God in prayer, study and meditation.

Sinking Your Roots in Christ. Sometimes being a Christian is tough. There are difficult choices to make. Maturity comes slowly. These quiet times in Colossians show us how to find grounding in Christ.

Sitting at the Feet of Jesus. In the Sermon on the Mount we can experience Jesus’ personal teaching. He shows us the way to live, offering comfort, encouragement and challenge.

Waiting on the Lord. If you wonder what God has planned for you and why he takes so long, this guide will offer you comfort through the Psalms. It will show you how to put your faith in God when patience and hope feel impossible. Most of all, it will help you to seek God’s direction and assurance

Eyre, S. D.